


Ripped Jeans

by Slutever



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bad Boy Castiel, Bad Boy Dean, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Car Sex, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time, Domestic Violence, Drunk John, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, High School, Homophobia, Human Castiel, Jock Dean, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Oral Sex, Pining Dean, Police, Punk Castiel, Rimming, Running Away, Small Towns, Smut, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, Vandalism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-04 10:53:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3065135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slutever/pseuds/Slutever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean moves to a new town, meets a raven haired, blue eyed boy that flips Dean's world like he does his middle finger</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Destiel fiction ever, so sorry if their dynamic felt weird or odd. Also I will be adding tags later on because this work isn't completely finished! I hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's first day at highschool, and his first encounter of the 4th Kind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm new to AO3 so bear with me until I figure this stuff out!

Dean looks up at the sky, his eyes looking at the clouds while his mind wanders. When he looks down he sees the ember of a lighter, then the puff of smoke like the clouds.

It's some guy, a really hot guy to be honest (he's got dark hair and nice pink lips and ocean blue eyes). He smokes his Marlboro in such a natural way, almost as if he's not slowly causing cancer in his lungs.

 _Can't hate,_ Dean thinks as he pulls out his own pack. He searches through his leather jacket until he realizes he left his lighter at home. He whips his head when he hears footsteps coming his way, and holy fuck it's the Marlboro dude.

He doesn't say anything, just presses the head of his cigarette to Dean's as Dean inhales, lighting his own cig simultaneously. 

"Thanks," Dean mutters under the smoke.

Hot-guy doesn't say anything, but asks "You new here?"

Dean nods, and replies "Came here last week. Parents got a new job". (It's simpler saying that than: My dad gets drunk every night and we move a lot so can I kiss you?)

The guy smiles then, and Dean watches the smoke exit his mouth so flawlessly that he thinks abut the clouds, and how much different they are here in Milwaukee, compared to Sioux City, Iowa; his last home.

☾✯☽

The bell rings, and the unnamed beauty (Dean can be romantic, sue him) throws his cigarette on the ground before stepping on it, walking away and leaving Dean still thinking about his old town and pink lips that look good with tobacco between them.

Dean makes it to the school office on his own without getting lost. This new school is old and huge. When he gets there, his heart almost stops because there is mystery boy, signing in as late. The attendance lady pays attention to Dean for a second, so he speaks up before she does.

"I came here to get my schedule." He blurts, realizing he looks like a dumbass. _Jesus Christ relax, this guy doesn't even know you,_ Dean thinks.

The dark haired dude looks at him before smirking, and the attendance lady says "Here you go Mr. Winchester, and Castiel here's your late pass."

Dean runs the name in his head, like a song he can't bother playing next on his playlist. Castiel smiles and grabs the pass, as Dean comes back to the real world and grabs his schedule. He follows Castiel out the office, surprised when the raven haired boy holds the door for him.

"What class do you have first?" Castiel asks, his eyes never really leaving Dean's own.

Dean feels hot all over, but he remembers to keep his cool and reply with "Ummm Mrs Harvelle's culinary."

Castiel grins, showing nice white teeth and he walks down a hall. Dean stands there, like a punished puppy before Castiel looks back at him and offers "I can take you to the Cakeboss, or you can have some preppy kid in the student counsel guide you."

Dean smiles at while he catches up and walks with him to room 377.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments if you have any suggestions! Thanks loves


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some more exposition in this chapter, and just to let you guys know a lot of these stories are unbeta-ed because I'm too lazy to find one, but if you want to be my beta just comment below!

It turns out culinary class with Harvelle isn't really like Cake Boss. It's mostly guys eating raw dough and girls on their phones scrolling through apps. Mrs. Harvelle is walking around, but she doesn't make the students do anything. She just hovers like a vulture, and it motivates some kids to actually bake. 

Castiel sits in the back and Dean follows, unsure of what else to do. Castiel looks at him and snorts, calling Mrs. Harvelle over. 

The teacher roles her eyes when she sees him and takes his late pass before greeting them with "What is it this time Castiel? I'm not up for bullshit today. " Dean swallows a laugh but let's it go when Castiel does.

"We have a new student Mrs Harvelle," Castiel chits.

Mrs. Harvelle gives Dean a glance before saying, "Welcome to Milwaukee Highschool."

Dean gives her a short smile and thanks her. Mrs. Harvelle smiles back and than goes to snap at some guys putting dough on their faces.

"So does the boy without a lighter have name?" Castiel teases with a smile. Up close Dean can see his features better. Castiel has flawless white skin, nothing but a creamy white surface and a subtle blush on his cheek. His lips are plush and round, and his Cupid's bow fits perfectly with his sharp nose that's nestled between eyes that Dean could swim in forever.

"Why should I tell you?" Dean jokes.

"Well you know my name is Castiel, so I figured since you can yell my name when you jerk off later tonight I should also have the privilege," Castiel replies crassly.

Dean nearly chokes on his spit, and he has to remain his composure as he says his name to Castiel. It takes a lot of effort not to act shocked when the guy flirting with you looks like a model.

"I like freckles better, Dean just sounds like a hick's name. You have a truck?" Castiel ask without any heat. His smile is contagious, and Dean chuckles.

"I think hot guy fits better than Castiel," Dean says cooly, but he realizes that he said what he was thinking and he turns red as Castiel winks at him.

"Oh freckles, it's going to take a lot more than that to get my number," Castiel muses. With that, Dean smiles and helps Castiel gather supplies to start baking.

☾✯☽

It turns out Dean doesn't have second block with Castiel. He does however, find Castiel sitting in the back of his third block class by himself. The weird named guy has headphones in his ears, and a sharpie in one hand as he draws on his arm.

Dean can't help but grin as he walks to the back and sits in the desk right by Castiel. Castiel glances at him before saying, "Hey there, Dean."

Dean smiles (not at all because this really attractive guy said his name, he does it to be friendly) as Castiel takes one headphone out before puzzling him with, "I thought my name was freckles?"

Castiel lets out a chuckle, and sarcastically responds "I think I like the idea of you driving a pickup. And your obviously fake tan suggests you lived in the country." Dean looks at his arms, and they are pretty tan. Well, in comparison to Castiel. 

Dean looks at Castiel and says "Well Castiel doesn't really sound like a hot guy name, so I think I'll call you Cas."

Castiel blushes and turns his head, back to drawing on his hand. Dean smirks at the thought that he made Castiel red. _And I can make him red in a lot of ways,_ Dean thinks.

The third block teacher, Mr Potts, starts teaching his algebra lesson as Dean daydreams about Cas and him in the back of his car.

When class is over and lunch begins, Dean packs his bag as Castiel stands and waits for him. Dean stands up and Castiel says, "As much as I like to have this preconception that you drive a pickup, I think it's never good to judge someone based on their name."

Dean laughs (and that's rare), before saying, "No it's not, I mean hot guy isn't my imagination you're pretty decent. But if this is your way of charming yourself into my car, I feel obligated to show you my baby."

Castiel rolls his eyes and follows Dean out of the classroom. Dean doesn't know how to leave the school, so he tells Cas he parked in Lot A and follows him there. 

"Do you want to grab something to eat?" Dean asks. Castiel smiles and nods, and they climb into his Impala.

"This car's pretty cool, but if this is your way of asking me on a date you're not getting kissed tonight," Castiel retorts as he looks around the car.

Dean chuckles (God he's acting like a girl, laughing so much) and teases, "We'll see about that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably won't update for about a week, I still haven't finished writing the third chapter! A lot more plot development in the next chapters though:)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas eat the burgers, and Cas eats some other stuff...
> 
> Warning: oral sex, (bad writing cause I've never written smut), implied abuse

Dean decides to take Cas out for burgers on their "date" (truthfully, Dean would've rather taken him to the woods so they could eat other stuff in the back of his car, maybe soon). He stops at B-Bop's and orders what he wants, while Cas just orders a drink and fries.

"You sure you don't want a burger?" Dean asks.

"I don't want to get bloated in case we have sex," Castiel states as if talking about the weather. 

Dean smirks and goes to pay. As he stands, Castiel pushes past him and hands the cashier his credit card. Dean huffs out in kid-like frustration.

"If I don't pay how else do I charm you into my backseat?" Dean questions.

"Well if we fuck it's definitely not going to be there, you'd have to take me to my house," Cas suggests (in a totally non-kidding way, to Deans excitement).

Dean eats his burger quicker than he ever has.

☾✯☽

Castiel lives in an old, 1970's house. It has the stereotypical side garage that connects to a basement. The carpet looks like a dog that hadn't showered, and some questionable rug choices that remind him of Persia. 

"I don't have parents, I live with my brothers," Castiel explains as he notices Dean looking at the mess of liquor bottles and pizza boxes everywhere.

"Why?" Dean curiously asks.

"They kicked us out when Gabriel and I came out, and Michael and Lucifer came with us when we bought this house," Cas tells, almost like a rehearsed story. He leads Dean through the mess to a room at the end of the basement, with a sign that reads: ENTER TO SEE ME NAKED. 

"I think I'll go in now," Dean jokes. Castiel just smiles and drags him inside.

"I can't believe I'm skipping school to be with you," Castiel says as he sets up some rock music on his player (it's pretty much just a bunch of gibberish singing and loud guitars, but Dean can respect rock since he grew up with Led Zeppelin). Dean doesn't know wether to be nervous or psyched that he's getting laid with an almost complete, hot stranger.

Cas finishes toying with the CD player and lays on the bed, Dean following him. They look at each other for a moment before Cas straddles Dean and leans to kiss him.

There's an electric current running down Dean's spine, making him shudder and moan, and God his lips are on fire. _Fuck this is heaven,_ Dean muses. He starts to run his hands on Cas' sides, moving his flannel out of the way. He than reaches to unbutton Cas' black pants, but when the dark haired boy tries to take them off the holes in his pants get stuck in his leg.

He laughs and rolls over, taking them off and doing the same to Dean. They start kissing and groping, both on their sides know. Cas' takes of his shirt, and after him so does Dean (which took him a while because he was caught up looking at the pale, white expanse of Castiel's body). 

Cas' reaches below, to grab Dean's dick. Dean moans as he kisses Cas, and they both fully take off their underwear. 

"Can I suck you?" Cas asks as if he were asking for a pencil in class.

Dean nods and lays on his back as Cas goes between his legs and lays on his stomach. Cas takes his huge cock (okay, Dean exaggerates but 8" is pretty big) and begins to lick the tip. Dean can't help but buck up, the last time he got blown was 6 months ago at a gas stop by a biker. _Yeah never again,_ Dean thinks. 

Cas swirls his tongue around Dean's tip, making every nerve in his body shocked. Then Cas takes the head in his mouth, and sucks it like a lollipop. Dean moans so loudly he blocks out the music for a second.

What really blows his mind (pun intended) is when Cas literally takes almost all of his cock in his mouth. Dean nearly comes, and he grips Cas' hair as more of a way to relax than choke him. Cas begins to bob his head up and down, and after one minute, Dean is a second from coming so he doesn't tell Cas to stop. Dean looks down and sees blue eyes, eyes that hold his gaze as they move up and down until Dean leans back.

He comes with a shout of "Cas!" Cas just swallows it all, and looks at Dean with a knowing grin.

"Told you names were important for this stuff," Cas chimes, and Dean just smiles and goes to return the favor. Cas gets up and walks to his closet. He puts on sweatpants and a shirt, as Dean lays confused (and kinda upset that Cas left him there).

"My brothers will be home soon, but maybe next time you can make me yell your name Dean," Cas proposes as he lays back in bed with Dean. Dean smiles and gets dressed before agreeing to it. They kiss some more, but when Deans checks his phone, he realizes schools out in 10 minutes, and he has to get Sam. He tells Cas and walks with him to the door.

"Well this has been fun, I'd definitely like to continue where we left off," Dean plans cooly.

"Maybe soon, but I have other guys waiting, Dean," Cas teases, but Dean kinda feels hurt that Cas sleeps around. _Who the hell am I to tell him not to,_ Dean reminds himself.

Cas reads his expression because he laughs and says, "C'mon Dean, we both know we're not the dating type." Dean doesn't laugh, he knows well that kids in high school don't do dating. That he's had more sex than he can remember, but with Cas it's different (because Dean wants more but he'd never admit it). He's just polarizing in a way Dean can't explain.

"Well I definitely make exceptions for guys that blow me on the day we meet. Let me take you on a date tomorrow," Dean says, not really asking.

"Okay, but you should get going, you're gonna be late."

"Aweee c'mon, not even that goodbye kiss Cas? That's cold."

Cas laughs and shocks Dean by pressing his lips (and also his tongue, rather quickly) onto Dean's. Things heat up pretty quickly, and soon Dean has him pinned against the wall, Cas' sweats riding low on his skin and shirt riding up as he tries to get on top of Dean's knees.

Suddenly, Cas pushes Dean and says, "You need to pick your bother up," and smirks before closing his door. Dean leaves with his lips raw, a warm feeling in his gut and a hard-on. _Why am I so screwed,_ Dean ponders.

☾✯☽

Dean gets Sammy from school, and he smiles at his little brothers enthusiasm of his first day in 8th grade. Dean knows as high school senior that middle school is the best. _Enjoy it while you can,_ Dean broods.

They get home, and to Dean's relief, John isn't home. Sam goes inside their new apartment complex (ironic that it's new to them, because the building itself is older than John). Dean stays outside and smokes a cigarette, trying to do it fast so Sam doesn't nag him about it.

The cigarette doesn't last long, and Dean heads inside slowly. He knows that John won't be home until later. _He's busy drinking, busy wasting his life away,_ Dean sulks. 

He goes to his Sam's room, watches him unpack and gives him a wavering smile before going to his own room. He makes a floor bed out of his covers and blankets, not really caring to unpack.

Later that night, as he lays in bed, Dean thinks about his Sam. How he needs a better family, how he needs shoes that aren't torn, how his grades have been slipping since they've moved 5 times in half a year. He knows Sam will do well in any school, but he can't help but feel that he could be better. Hell, even Dean could do better. 

It takes Dean a while to sleep, his mind worried John will come in and harass Sam. He gets up and carries Sam to his room, and Sam just grunts sleeply. It's a struggle, with Sam almost Dean's hight but he makes it. He spoons Sam, and he can't help but wishing that they stay longer here.

Dean sleeps dreaming about blue eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I would update later, but I wanted to give more since the story feels badly written. Also where should Dean take Cas on his date? Movies? Diner? Idk


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's date with Cas, more burgers and some sexy times
> 
> Warnings: blowjobs, rimming, and anal sex, slight angst

In the morning, Dean wakes up and sees that it's 7:09. School starts at 8:00 am, so he lays in bed and listens. Sam is still asleep, his gentle breathing not really disturbing the silence. 

Dean hears the shuffle of boots just outside his door, and he paralyzes in panic. _I thought he'd be gone by now,_ Dean reconsiders. Thankfully, after a minute the door opens and closes. With the click of the lock, Dean relaxes and wakes Sammy up.

As he makes breakfast, Dean wonders where he's going to take Cas on their date. There's not a lot of places around here Dean knows, but he's pretty sure Sam does. After Dean puts the eggs and bacon on a plate, he calls Sam to eat.

"Why do you have that weird look on your face?" Sam cautiously asks as he eats his eggs.

"I'm just thinking," Dean retorts.

"I know, that's what makes it weird," Sam jokes (Dean hopes). 

"Hey bitch, I think a lot. Like I'm thinking you can help me pick a place for a date," Dean semi-asks.

"Well jerk, it depends on the person. If it's like a first date, I'd say movies and dinner," Sam suggests.

Dean hums in agreement, and downs his orange juice before getting his backpack. Sam follows him to the Impala, which Dean bought with his own money. John rides the bus or walks wherever he goes, most of his money goes to Jack Daniels anyway.

Sam's school is a block away from Dean's, so after dropping him off Dean goes to school. With 10 minutes to spare, he goes behind the rusted school fence and smokes a cigarette. He can't see Castiel anywhere, just a few fellow smokers along the wall. 

The Viceroy is done quickly, and Dean throws the fag on the ground before heading inside. He sits in the back of Mrs. Harvelle's class like he had on the first day with Cas. Except, when the bell rings, Cas isn't in the seat by Dean. 

Cas isn't in third block either, but when Dean is heading to lunch he passes the office and sees Cas getting a pass. Dean smiles and waits outside the office. Cas looks at him and grins, grabbing Dean by his army jacket and kissing him. Dean flinches in surprise, but quickly moans into the kiss. 

After a very brief make out session (that DID NOT leave Dean with a boner, he swears...) they go to the cafeteria. Dean buys them lunch, but inside he knows he should be saving money. Cas doesn't want him to but he relents after a while.

"So, what class do you have next?" Cas asks as he eats his salad.

"Physical Education, I think Team Sports. You?" Dean questions with a mouthful of pizza.

"I have Lifetime Fitness, but we share the gym."

"Are you gonna wear cute little shorts?"

"Maybe, but not in front of you."

Dean laughs while he dumps his tray with Cas.

☾✯☽

After school, Dean tells Cas he'll pick him up at 8. Cas kisses him goodbye before going to his brother Gabrielle's car (Dean admits his jealous that he can't drive Cas home). As he walks, Cas blows Dean a kiss. Dean laughs and gets in his car, on his way to get his brother.

Sam is patiently waiting for him, right in front of his school's parking lot. Dean pulls up and stops the car, speeding away to get home soon. Sam notices his excited attitude, but doesn't say anything.

At their apartment, Dean is bouncing of the walls trying to find an outfit and pick a restaurant.

Sam sighs at his brothers anxiety before suggesting, "Why not buy burgers, from like AJ Bombers and then go to the outside theatre?"

Dean has an epiphany, and he bear-hugs Sam before thanking with him "Finally put your brain to good use Sam." 

They exchange insults, but as Dean dresses he realizes something. Sammy will be all alone, and if John comes home early... he can't let that happen. Dean goes to his brother, yet Sam must be a mind reader because he says, "I'll be fine."

"I can't live with myself if he hits you again. Sammy, I just... you're more important to me than a date with a guy. Besides I probab-" Dean begins to rant before Sam cuts him in.

"I can go to my friends house, and you can text me when your done. I'll be fine, Dean."

Dean gives his brother a hug, his eyes watering and his throat dry. There's nothing he can say.

☾✯☽

Cas is waiting for Dean outside his house. Dean pulls up to his drive way, and sees how nice Cas looks. He's wearing a light Jean jacket, some band shirt with a flannel, and dark jeans with small tears. They're different than his usual pair, with holes that travel his legs, and barley-there threads. Dean licks his lips as Cas climbs into the passenger seat.

"Hey Cas, you look good," Dean compliments.

"So do you, I didn't know where we're going... so I wore this."

"No it looks good."

Cas smiles, than says, "So where are you taking me?"

"Mhm I think if I tell you, you might not go home with me."

"Dean, I would go home with you if we went to the junkyard."

Dean laughs, then drives away, secret still on his lips. They listen to music and talk silently, and when they don't Cas (tries to) sings along with Dean' music. Dean relaxes, like he hasn't in a while. He lets his mind wander, lets himself imagine him and Cas. Cas kissing him, Cas on top of him, Sam going to the beach with them, and Dean feels good. It feels good to dream.

Cas reads his face, he sees the flicker of pain or longing, perhaps both. Dean's happy he doesn't say anything.

☾✯☽

I normally takes half an hour for AJ Bombers to make their burgers, but they're not very busy today. Dean orders the "Barbie Burger", and he laughs at Cas' choice of the "Housemade Veggie Burger."

"You know all that fake meet isn't good for you Cas, you need some real meat," Dean says coyly.

Cas raises and eyebrow and replies, "Trust me, when I find a good meat I'll let you know."

Dean laughs as their food arrives. They carry the bags and drinks to the car, mindful of spilling. While they head to the theatre, they chit chat about everything. How Cas became vegan after accidentally watching a PETA video, Dean crashing his old car when he was 12, and so much more. Dean almost hates that they have to stay quiet in the movie parking lot because so many cars are near.

The movie is about some war veteran, being held prisoner by the Japanese. Dean's mostly paying attention to Cas, watching his chest rise and fall as he leans back in his seat. Cas finishes his burger, but has a ketchup stain on his lip. Dean impulsively leans across the seat and licks it off, earning a shocked flinch from Cas but he quickly moans.

"Jeez Dean, you know I have napkins," Cas jokes.

"Yeah, but you know you like it when my tongue cleans you off," Dean says with an innuendo. 

Cas roles his eyes before kissing Dean, his lips moving in ways that make Dean hard. Cas must feel his boner, because he smiles into the kiss and pulls away.

"So, how about that movie?" Cas sidetracks.

Dean groans and kisses his mouth again, more confidence and hormones boosting him. Cas slides his tongue over Dean's lips, and Dean opens his mouth. Soon things move quicker, and Cas is straddling Dean who is attempting to get them in the backseat through the armrest. 

They make it back, and Cas starts undulating his hips. Their erections run against each other, both guys moaning. Cas pulls away and unzips Dean's pants. He starts rubbing his cock through his boxers, and Dean can't help but buck his hips in anticipation. Cas smirks before getting on his knees and pulling Dean's pants and underwear off simultaneously. 

Cas grabs Dean's cock and starts licking the tip. Dean moans and fists Cas hair, threading the messy locks and pushing him a bit. Cas doesn't mind, just keeps bobbing his head as if Dean's cock was an apple. 

Dean nearly comes when Cas fits everything in his mouth, Cas' nose and lips pressed against Dean pubes and lips wrapped like a vice around his dick. Cas starts to move up and down, faster then faster, writer trying to kill Dean or make him cum quick.

With a shout Dean comes, and he's pretty sure the other cars heard it (which turns him on, to be honest). Cas smiles and Dean pins Cas against the seat, wanting to return the favor. Cas pushes his hand and confuses Dean, before speaking.

"Dean, could you um, well... not blow me?"

Dean puzzles, and asks "Why? Is there something I did wrong?"

Cas shakes his head and says, "I just don't find it as pleasing, as... rimmingandfingering."

Dean smirks, before teasing, "Can you repeat that?"

"Rimming...and fingering. Look I know it's kind of weird but-"Cas rambles before being cut off.

"Cas it's not, I just love seeing you flustered."

Dean kisses Cas before taking the pale boy's pants off. He then takes off the boxes, and pulls Cas' legs to him, hitching them over his shoulder. He can see Cas' ass better, but not his whole so Dean puts his jacket under Cas' back. Dean sees the furled muscle, shaved and red, puckering for him. He grabs some lube from the glove compartment before getting back into position.

Dean starts by licking Cas' rim, applying pressure but not quite pushing in. It's fucking tight when he does, and Dean realizes Cas is a virgin. He looks up and sees Cas' eyes, piercing his soul with want.

"Sorry, I know it's lame, but please don't stop," Cas begs.

"It's not dumb babe, nothing you do or are is," Dean reassures him. It's weird seeing the collected, confident and cocky Cas shy and virginal, but it really turns Dean on.

Dean gets back to eating Cas out, pushing his tongue in a few times and moaning as Cas grabs his hair and pulls him closer. Dean starts shoving his tongue in, and while he's never rimmed, it's pretty much the same as cunnilingus.

When Dean feels like Cas is ready, he lubes up a finger and rubs it against Cas' hole. Cas is moaning like crazy, making it obvious he's done this before, but not often. It makes Dean jealous and happy. 

As Dean pushes his finger in, he continues licking and fucking Cas with his tongue. Cas' legs are constantly moving, they begin to shake when Dean rubs something inside that has Cas wailing. Dean wants to record that sound sometime. Dean starts to brutally thrust his finger and tongue, hitting Cas' prostate every time. Cas legs are shaking, he's half screaming, half moaning. He comes as he rubs his swollen cock, with a shout of Dean's name, hole tightening and clenching around Dean's finger and tongue. 

Dean pulls back and smiles, wiping the come of Cas' stomach with a shirt. Cas looks at him and grins, putting his clothes back on. They both lean back on the seats, panting and hot. 

Cas idly draws on the fog-tinted window before turning to Dean and asking, "When's our next date?"

☾✯☽

Dean (reluctantly) drives Cas home, and as he begins to pull out of the driveway Cas runs up to him and kisses him through the driver window.

"Thanks Dean, see you tomorrow," Cas says before heading inside.

Dean feels queasy in his stomach, from his date with Cas and the amazing sex. He also knows he has to get home before John does, which is around 11:00. It's 9:54 right now.

Dean makes it home at 10:28, and gets Sam from his friends apartment. They enter their apartment and head to Sam's room.

"You don't have to sleep with me, I'll be fine Dean," Sam whispers.

"I want to, Sammy. It won't be long before you'll be too tall for us to share the bed," Dean replies.

Sam nods, and they start moving Sam's things to Dean's. They finish in two trips, there's not much.

Sam and Dean lay in bed, just talking and relaxing. Tomorrow is Friday, the first week of school over. They hadn't been to the first two days because John didn't register them, so Dean had to.

Sam puts his arm across Dean's chest. Dean kisses Sam's head and dozes off, scared yet comforted.

John doesn't come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm a horrible person, but I'm really busy with classes and life. I'll try to update every week from now on!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just some cute fluff and angst, cause i think it's good juxtaposition. also a bit short, but better than nothing :)

Dean wakes up to a lone bed. He smells eggs and bacon wafting through the the air, pulling him to the kitchen. Sam is there, cooking and already dressed. He looks at Dean, worry in his eyes. 

"I figured we could leave early, 'cause I have to talk to a teacher," Sam says as he serves breakfast.

"Yeah Sammy, that's fine."

They eat quietly and fast, Dean's intuition tells him that there's something Sammy's holding back. When they get into the car, Sam says nothing. 

Dean pulls up to Sam's school, and locks the doors before turning to Sam

"What's wrong Sammy? Is there something bothering you?" Dean questions.

Sam avoids eye contact, not wanting to look at Dean directly. He pauses before responding, "ithinkimightbegay," all in one quick breathe.

Dean knows that Sam is scared, scared that Dean will reject him. John's already made it clear that he hates homosexuals, and when he's drunk he calls them names, names that used to hurt Dean. Dean's identified himself as bisexual for a while, he's just been ambiguous with Sam for a while and never expressed it. _Now's better than never_ , Dean thinks

"It's okay Sammy, I'm bisexual."

Sam looks at Dean shocked, and asks "Really? You're not mad?"

"Of course not Sammy, I'll always love you."

Dean hugs his brother, and he feels like he could cry again, like his lungs are caving in and he's 12, realizing that he likes boys. Dean remembers the day John looked at Dean, like he knew his son was a "faggot". He won't ever let Sammy feel like that, won't ever make him believe he's any less worth. It's probably why Sam wanted to avoid talking with Dean, because he's scared Dean'll know.

"It's okay Sammy, we're going to be okay," Dean promises. It's enough of a promise.

☾✯☽

Cas is waiting for Dean, his cigarette already lit. Dean looks at Cas up and down, his jeans with holes and dark sweater completing his aura of coolness that Dean loves.

Dean kisses Cas, inhaling his smoke. Cas smiles into it and pushes Dean off before putting out the cig.

"We're gonna be late if we don't do to class soon," Cas warns lightheartedly.

"Mhm we wouldn't a bad record on top of our truancy, would we?" Dean teases. 

Cas laughs and looks at him before taking his hand and heading in. By the moment they walk in, time feels to have accelerated because soon school is over. Everyone rushes out, the Friday Fever finally wearing off as kids drive away for the weekend. Cas tells Dean he can come over (with Sam, which both scares and relieves Dean) if he wants.

"Yeah we can go, what time?" Dean plans.

"Right now if you want. My brothers are out of town, and we can order pizza," Cas suggests.

"Yeah, so come pick Sam up with me and we can all go?"

"Sure, I didn't bring my car so I took the bus anyways."

They climb into Dean's baby (second to Cas, allegedly). Sam is already outside the school when they arrive, and he smiles at Cas as a greeting.

"Uh Sam this is Cas. My..." Dean wanders, unsure of what title Cas is.

"Dean's friend, _very_ good friend," Cas smirks.

"I'm Sam, nice to meet you," Sam says warmly. 

Dean smiles at how easy they seem to get along, because Sam is usually so quiet and reserved. After filling Sam in on their plans, they head to Cas' house. The entire ride, Sam and Cas chat about books, and Dean just grins while he drives. It's his wish come true, to spend time with someone like Cas and be with Sammy. All he's ever wanted; its a dream, though. Dreams are always false hope.

☾✯☽

Sam looks at Cas' house with wonder. Dean guesses it must be because Sam is used to sleeping in apartment floors, trailer bunks or the backseat of a car. It saddens Dean, but he puts on a smile and walks into the basement with Cas.

"Sorry the basement is dirty, but we have the big TV here. Um I have movies in that cabinet or we can watch Netflix? You guys choose. I'll order the pizza now," Cas rushes.

Dean follows Cas upstairs while Sam looks through the VHS collection. He sees Cas pick up the wall phone (man this house is old) and call the pizza delivery. When he hangs up, he faces Dean and smiles.

"Hey," Cas breathes out.

Dean walks to him and kisses him, wrapping an arm around his waist for leverage. Cas snakes an arm around Dean's bicep, feeling the firm muscle before putting his hand behind Dean's neck.

"I'm sorry I didn't say friend, I just don't know where we stand," Dean apologizes as he rests his forehead against Cas'.

"It's okay Dean, we can take as long as we want before we decide. I just want us to be together," Cas confesses.

Dean nods, kissing Cas again. They kiss silently, enjoying each other's presence. In the back of Dean's head, he thinks he should ask Cas to be his boyfriend. That he needs Cas, he can't lose him, but the fear of rejection is too much. So instead he kisses him until the pizza delivery guy comes.

Dean tries beating him to the door, so he can pay, but Cas is agile and knows the house better so he avails. Dean pouts as Cas carries the boxes in, one cheese one pepperoni.

Castiel looks at him and smiles, kissing his frown away and bringing down the sodas with the food. Sam already has a movie picked out, some VHS Disney film called The Aristocrats. Dean can't help but snuggle up to Cas, his hand rubbing circles on Cas's hip bones, while he kisses his neck silently. Cas just gives him a look, one Dean can't decipher. They watch the singing cats for the night, eating pizza and laughing at dumb jokes. 

☾✯☽

When Sam falls asleep, Dean is about to wake him up but Cas insists they spend the night. Dean carries Sam to the spare bedroom. Then, they both climb into Cas' huge king bed. _This might be awkward,_ Dean thinks. It's not though, because Cas smiles at Dean and cuddles up to him. Dean puts his face to Cas', pressing their lips together lazily and slow. He's praying that Cas takes things farther. It doesn't though, just gentle touches. Cas' hand rubbing up and down Dean's toned abs, Dean tracing the knobs of Cas' spine.

"Do you play football?" Cas breathes out in between kisses.

"Used to, heard that football tryouts are soon. How'd you know?"

"I didn't Dean, I guessed. And because you have the body of a footballer, I'd _know_."

Dean wants to ask, knows it doesn't concern him yet he's worried. He doesn't though, just like he doesn't ask why Cas never wears short sleeve shirts, why he shakes sometimes, why his bags under his eyes are almost as dark as his hair. 

He want to, Dean wants a lot of things. He wants Cas most of all, and he doesn't know wether Cas is his or not. 

Cas nudges him, head on his chest and arms around his waist. It lulls Dean to sleep, hearing his breathing. Cas' soft snores, his soft skin, his chest rise and fall. 

Dean sleeps all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ik I said I was going to update in a week, but I'm horrible at timing everything and I suddenly have a life!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas fight, John and Dean fight
> 
> Warning: mild graphic violence, sex (oral)

Castiel once told him he was named after an angel, when they were in class probably. The point is, Dean agrees. Sleeping with Castiel was the most peaceful thing in the world, but waking up was different. Dean woke up to Cas' body nearly on top of of him, hugging his side and legs intertwined. It wouldn't have been a problem if Dean didn't have a boner yet he did. After carefully removing Cas off of him, Dean uses the restroom. It's a relief, but Dean is still semi hard. He returns to Castiel's bed and sees him sleepily rub his eyes. Dean smiles and before he can protest Cas pulls him onto the bed and starts to kiss him. He tries to pull away, Dean does not want Cas to see him hard for no reason. Inevitably, Cas climbs Deans lap and rubs his ass on Dean's crotch. They both moan and soon they lay on their sides, kissing and taking clothes off.

"We don't have to do anything just because I had a woody," Dean says, even though he wants to have sex. Needs Cas' mouth on him.

"I want to, since yesterday. Let me suck you," Cas whines.

Getting in between Dean's legs, Cas pulls of Dean's boxers and begins to lick the head of his cock. Dean moans, hips bucking up. Cas just stays on his knees, licking and suckling the head.

"How big is this thing," Cas asks both genuinely and sarastically.

"That monster? I think it was 8 inches last time someone measured," Dean jokes (but also wants to buzz jealousy in Cas). It doesn't though, because Cas just gets back to licking and soon begins sucking Dean's cock in earnest. Feeling like Cas is being unfair, Dean maneuvers them so Cas has his ass in front of Dean. Dean drags Cas' briefs down his legs, and gently massages the mounds of flesh. Cas moans but he nearly screams when Dean begins to lick his hole without warning.

They start to compete for pleasure, who can make the other come first. Dean's eyes are wet with pleasure, but he has Cas' legs shaking from his tongue's menstruations. When Dean slips a finger in, hitting that spot in Cas head on, Cas comes, untouched. While his body vibrates with pleasure, Cas doesn't let his speed drop and he sucks Dean's cock vigorously. He comes soon after.

Out of breathe and tired, Dean sluggishly pulls Cas on top of his chest, letting his abdominal muscles relax and flex as Cas strokes them. They lay in peace like that for a while, hands wandering on their naked skin. Dean rubbing Cas' inner thigh, brushing under his ass. Cas tracing the lean muscle of Dean's stomach, lining the v is his groin. It's only after they hear Sam moving that they both get up and dress.

"Do you guys want breakfast?" Cas invites.

"Nah, we should be getting home. My dad might worry," Dean half lies. John doesn't give a rats ass about their safety, but he gets mad at everything they do.

"It's chill, just text me sometime? I'll give you my number."

It's weird to think how fast their relationship is moving, how Cas and him have had sex but not even exchanged numbers. It makes Dean happy that Cas trusts him, but anxious because he knows that Cas must do this with all his boyfriends. Hell, they're not even boyfriends yet.

"Okay, I'll text you later Cas. Thanks for everything, we'll definitely do this again," Dean says as he gathers his stuff.

Cas smiles at him, leads him and Sam to the door, says goodbye and leaves them. It throws Dean off, that Cas didn't even kiss him goodbye. Then again, Sam is here and Cas probably didn't want to rub it in Sam's face.

Dean doesn't know, but he can't stop thinking about it all the way home.

☾✯☽

John is waiting for them. He's drunk, the smell of alcohol polluting the air. His body lays sprawled out on the old mattress that the last residents left behind. He doesn't move, but his eyes turn to Sam and Dean as they walk in. Dean fears of what John will do, because he's unpredictable when he's intoxicated.

"Where the fuck have you been," John grunts as he stands.

Dean gets in front of Sam, protecting him before saying, "Not the pub."

John glares at him, eyes red and full of anger. "I know that you idiot, I asked where," John retorts.

"A friends house, we spent the night," Dean growls.

John just huffs, obviously deciding that the conversation isn't going anywhere. He heads into his room, and Dean can hear him puke from out here.

"Should we go to our rooms?" Sam whispers.

Dean turns around and sees the fear in Sam's eyes. The wide irises, alert and moving. John would hit them for no reason, and Sam was terrified of that. It was Dean's job to protect his brother, so he knew that he had to assure Sam.

"Sammy, it's gonna be okay. Let's just go to my room and we can lock the door," Dean soothes Sam's hair as they talk. They both walk to Dean's room, wary of John. Thankfully, his lights are still on and his constant hurling is a beacon of assurance for them.

Dean locks the door, aware that his drunk father won't be able to the pick the lock. He might kick the door down, like he's done before, but Dean can at least protect Sam. 

They both climb into bed, Sam reading a book and Dean pulling out his phone. It almost looks normal, as if they weren't nervous that John might get violent. That he might come in and hurt them.

It's not normal, and Dean's fully aware. He's scared Cas would leave him if he found out, found out how poor Dean was. How Dean and Sam have prepaid phones, stolen at the Kum & Go in Urbanalde, Iowa. How Dean sometimes takes food, without paying, so that Sam can eat. How the only way they get by is through government assistance, and odd jobs Dean scrapes by. It all scares Dean.

Dean realizes he's scared a lot, and instead of doing anything about he falls asleep next to Sam.

☾✯☽

Dean wakes up, the sound of the door being hit waking him up. He stands up just as John breaks the lock, and he's half asleep but ready to fight. Sam is awake too, but he stands behind Dean like a puppy. 

John drunkenly lunges at Dean, but he's still able to hit him in the stomach. Dean uses the momentum to roll them, trying to get on top of John. He does, but not before John firsts him square in the eye. Dean winces, and he predicts a black eye. No, he knows it will be a black eye. He's accustomed to the feeling.

John starts struggling and thrashing, trying to push Dean off. Dean's stronger, from street fights and football, so he holds John down firmly. They stay like that, John cussing and yelling about how Dean is a faggot, how Dean killed his mother, and how Sam and him are going to rot in hell. 

Dean cries, because he believes it, as much as he knows it's not true he believes it. John spits and yells, cries and fumes, but he can't move. Eventually, he's calmed enough that Dean gets up and pulls Sam out of the room.

"Go to the car Sam," Dean instructs. Sam nods and takes the keys. Dean starts to take things, money and possessions. He'll come back for more, but he needs the essentials right now. Dean heads out the door, without looking back.

☾✯☽

Dean and Sam cruise around town, and Dean stops at places picking up job applications as he goes. They have $3,4567.64 to their names (from the government and Dean's savings) at the moment, and Dean knows that it will dry up if he doesn't get more money from the apartment and a job.

They stay in an abandoned parking lot on Saturday, Sam doing homework and Dean filling out applications. He keeps fiddling with his phone, and luckily Sam is in the backseat of the car or he'd have give Dean a bitch look.

When Dean grows a pair (which is around 5:32 pm) he texts Cas. 

From Dean: hey

From Cas:): what's up

From Dean: not much chilling in my car, want to do something?

From Cas:): um i can't this weekend. busy with speech team and stuff.

From Dean: it's cool

From Cas:): sorry

Dean thinks about telling him not to apologize, but he is kind of upset. He'd hoped that Cas could take him mind of things. Dean sulks in his car, until it gets dark out and he falls asleep.

☾✯☽

On Sunday, Dean takes Sam out for McDonald's breakfast. He pulls up to the restaurant, and through the window he sees a group of guys mucking around.

They're all wearing football jersey's, and Dean can tell that they're seniors like him. As he's about to go inside, he notices a flash of black hair. Dean watches as Cas sits with the guys, particularly a blonde guy with the last name Twigg on the back. Castiel takes the spot next to him, and Dean glares as Twigg puts on arm on Cas' hip and pulls him closer. Cas just smiles and blushes as the team laughs.

Dean and Sam go through the Drive-Thru.

☾✯☽

On Monday, Dean doesn't smoke before school. He goes to the administrators office and gets a physical paper, along with the football sign up sheet. In the back of his mind, Dean knows he should be more worried about Sam and how he barley has time for the practices (but Dean's always loved football and he deserves a little happiness). 

The blonde guy, Twigg, is there too. He gives Dean a smile before asking "Are you new?"

"Yeah, I am," Dean flatly responds.

"Cool, I'm Ben, the quarterback."

"Dean, I was a wide receiver last year."

"You're in luck, our wide receiver had knee surgery so he's out for the season."

"Awesome."

Ben gives Dean a weird look, probably realizing Dean has no intention of befriending him. After saying goodbyes, Ben leaves the office. 

Dean decided he hates Ben.

☾✯☽

Cas is already in their spot for 1st block, Mrs. Harvelle teaching the class about eggs and their many uses.

Cas smiles at him, and despite himself, Dean smiles back.

"Hey, sorry about this weekend. I was busy," Cas apologizes.

"It's fine, I guess Ben kept you plenty occupied," Dean jabs. He searches Cas' face for any traits of being insulted, but his face is blank. 

"He did, but it's not what you think Dean."

"Than what the fuck is it Cas? You smile at me and act like we're fine but you're with him too."

Some kids are looking at them, but Dean can't seem to care and neither does Cas because he continues.

"We're not even fucking dating Dean. Me and Ben have been together for a long time. We just open our relationship."

"I don't want to be with a slut," Dean jabs ruthlessly.

Cas' eyes flicker for a moment, pain flashing through them. He look at Dean, as if searching for something tangible.

"I don't want to be with an asshole, Dean."

They both watch one another, until Mrs. Harvelle walks by and subtly averts their attention back to the class. Dean burns his egg.

☾✯☽

Cas avoids him the whole day, and Dean knows he fucked up. He got jealous and worried that Cas would leave him for Ben. _Why wouldn't he?_ Dean thinks. Ben is the quarterback, handsome, probably rich and popular. Dean's the quiet kid in class, the one that smells like smoke and eats free lunches. He wants Cas to himself, to prove that he won't leave Dean. So, he acted on his instincts to flee. To hurt rather than be hurt.

What really hurt was seeing Cas climb into Ben's pickup after school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took like 2 weeks, but I needed time to plan out where this is going. I'm thinking about doing the next chapter in Cas' perspective, to give insight on stuff (like why him and Ben are together, his family). Idk what do you guys think?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas' thoughts spin and he meets Dean again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in jail for drug possession, and they don't have wifi. So sorry I couldn't post lol. It's mostly short but Cas thoughts. I'll do the next chapter in his POV
> 
> Warning: mentions drug use and self harm

It's not that Castiel doesn't like Dean. It's that he likes Dean too much. Dean with his handsome face; strong jaw, green eyes, pouty lips and freckles. Dean and his perfect body; bulging biceps and toned abs. Dean and himself; the kindness, the sweetness, the mystery, the sex. It's all of him, but Castiel is ambivalent.

Ben and Cas have been together for a long time. They grew up together, neighbors from before school started and up until Cas and Gabe came out in 8th grade. After they moved out, Ben still talked to Cas and stood up for him when bullies rose. 

It was that same year that Ben had kissed Cas in front of the whole school. Cas remembers it, the soft feel of his lips and the taste of cola. At first things at school were tense, but people learned to accept them or avoid them. Most of the football were accepting of Ben. How could they not be, he was the star quarterback?

But that's all Ben is. He's a nice, handsome boy that's been Castiel's... _good friend_ for a while. The reason they aren't together is because Ben likes to sleep with girls, and who is Castiel to tell him not to? _Besides, I have no real feelings for him,_ Cas thinks.

Still, Ben is a form of comfort for Castiel. He's been there when Castiel cried after running way, when Castiel relapsed from his past addiction, pretty much everything. Thick and thin.

Sometimes, though, Ben is there too much. He doesn't like Castiel to wear short sleeves, because kids would see his fading cuts and new ones. His purple welts from the injections. Ben gets mad when Castiel doesn't want sex, because Castiel isn't ready for anal but Ben Is.  
The scariest is when Ben is enraged, when his blue eyes are red with anger. It scares Cas how mad he could be. Most of all, Cas doesn't want another black eye like the one Dean was wearing earlier.

Leaving school, Castiel's mind dreams of Dean and Sam. He hates to admit it, but the movie sleepover is the best thing that's happened to him in a while. Ben and him are always fighting, always arguing, until they're in public and Cas puts on a smile.

It's fake, the feelings for Ben. It's just sex and comfort, and Ben offers both. But he more than often ignores the latter. Sometimes, Ben will disregard Cas until there's sex involved. 

Cas isn't stupid, he knows Ben's using him. What other gay kid in all of Milwaukee would put up with the bullshit Ben creates? And not to be stuck up, but Castiel isn't ugly, and Ben likes pretty things.

So Castiel remains content with the man-handeling and controlling nature of Ben.

For a while.

☾✯☽

Castiel started doing drugs when he was a freshman, and it's always been a sensitive subject. No one knew about it, not even his brothers. Everyone saw the happy Castiel and Ben on the exterior. And Castiel was happy, but he was also unsure.

It started with one friend, Kevin, who threw a party and Castiel attended. He was prepared to drink, maybe smoke cig or some weed. But instead he ended up in the bathroom with a belt around his arm and Kevin's brother injecting him. 

The high was amazing. It made Castiel feel, actually feel, not just act like he's happy or think he's happy. And sooner than later, Cas was in Kevin's bathroom almost daily. He was high more than sober.

His brothers found out after a year. Castiel was pale, underweight, and had marks all over his arms. He broke down when they walked in on him.

Gabriel told Ben, and Ben wasn't concerned. He was mad. Mad that Castiel would hurt their reputation and hurt himself over drugs. But Ben still cared, he held Castiel and kissed him the nights he shook from withdrawal. He fed Castiel when his arms were too sore to lift a fucking spoon. 

So Castiel can't leave Ben. After everything Ben's done, good and bad, he can't leave him.

But he does.

☾✯☽

Ben snaps Cas out of his trance, they're at Ben's house now.

"Have you even been listening?" Ben asks.

"No," Cas responds.

"I asked if you wanted to come in, Cas. We can hang out baby," Ben smirks.

Castiel knows what Ben wants. And he gives it to him, gives him his body. Then, it's over. The sweetness and the fake love. Ben pushes Cas out of his room.

"My parents will be home soon, so I'll drive you home," Ben lies.

"It's fine Ben, I'll walk."

"What the fuck? No I'll drive you."

"Don't text me Ben."

"You're fucking stupid Castiel." 

"I know."

Cas takes his time walking home.

☾✯☽

Cas can't sleep. He dreams of Dean all night. Dean with his black eye, swollen and dark. Dean and Sam, their movie night embedded in sweet memories. When Dean called him a slut.

Slut.

It hurts because it's true. Cas has slept with nearly all the guys Ben knows (courtesy of his boyfriend). And he likes it. Cas likes sex, because then people see him as more than a piece of shit ex-heroine addict. They see him as someone. 

In reality, Cas is no one.

☾✯☽

Cas finds Dean unexpectedly. After smoking two bowls, Cas got hungry and went to the grocery store. He stocked up on the usual: gummy worms, Cheetos, pop. Anything that got rid of his cotton mouth.

He sees Dean getting cigarettes. At first, Cas thinks of avoiding him (he's had a rough day and doesn't want to breakdown in front of everyone). But sooner than later he's next to Dean paying for his stuff. Dean stiffens when he sees Cas, and he notices that Dean's breathe quickens.

"Hey Dean," Cas greets.

"Hi Cas," Dean whispers.

"I prefer the name slut," Cas retorts. He pays quickly and walks past Dean. Cas isn't alone though, Dean is following him.

"Cas don't leave. I'm sorry."

"Fuck you Dean."

"I know. I'm an asshole."

They stare at each other. Cas sees the hurt in Dean's eyes, the red mixed with the green. The black eye that haunts Castiel.

"How'd you get the black eye?"

"My dad. I moved Sam and me out."

"You're sleeping in your car aren't you."

"Yeah."

"Come sleep at my house. Only Gabe is home."

"You don't hav-"

"I'm doing it for Sam. He doesn't deserve it."

Cas is being cold. He's being an ass, but he has reason. Dean's sorry but it isn't peaches yet.

They go to the impala and drive to Cas'.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean start to rebuild what they had (

As soon as Gabe sees Cas coming in the house with 2 other guys, Gabe runs into his room and closes the door. Cas rolls his eyes when Gabe turns his music up. _He probably thinks I brought Ben home_ , Cas thinks.

 

Sam's happy to see Cas. It may have been awkward because he talked to Sam on the ride instead of Dean, but Cas didn't care. It's not Sam's fault that they have a fucked up life. It's not Dean's either...

"Cas, can I use your bathroom?" Sam politely asks.

"Of course, it's just down the hall to your left," Cas guides.

Sam goes, and silence expect Gabe's music fills the house. Dean is looking at the floor, his breathe deep and stance solid. Cas smells his body from here, and he knows they haven't showered. 

"You guys can bathe if you want, I-" Cas begins.

"I can't. There's no way I could repay you and I'm not charity," Dean growls.

"No, you're not. But I care about you. I care for Sam. I was homeless once Dean. Me and my brothers had to steal to eat. I know how it is, and what kind of person would I be to not help?"

"Why me? I was an asshole to you."

"Yeah but Sam wasn't. He deserves more."

"So you wouldn't have let me stay if it weren't for-"

"Jesus Christ Dean I'm not a bitch. I don't hold a grudge."

"I'm sorry."

Cas doesn't reply, just walks to the laundry room and gets towels.

☾✯☽

Sam showers first, and Cas smiles when Sam asks if he can sleep on Cas' bed.

"Well duh Sam. You can sleep anywhere you want."

Dean is smoking outside (or so Cas presumes) so Cas gets in the shower.

He scrubs his hair, trying to tame his locks and matts as he washes it. Cas can't help but think of Dean in the shower with him. Dean to touching him. Dean fucking him.

Speaking of the devil, Dean walks in with a towel around his waist. As soon as Cas hears the sound of the door he covers himself. _Why was a plastic shower curtain ever invented_ , he curses.

Dean stares at Cas before hitting his head when he whiplashes to leave the bathroom. It'd all be hilarious if Dean didn't drop his towel simultaneously. Cas just glares at the naked Adonis and can't help but get horny. Dean rubs his forehead casually, as if he weren't naked with his ex-semi-boyfriend. 

"You know there's this thing called knocking," Cas reprimands.

"Sorry, I saw Sammy showered so I figured it was clear for me," Dean apologizes.

"It's okay."

Dean gets up, Cas watching his toned muscles flexing as he does. But Dean's soft cock makes Cas whimper, and he can't stop himself from blurting, "Shower with me."

"Um are you sure?" Dean hesitates.

"Yeah, save water and the planet and what not."

"You don't have to beca-"

"Just get in the fucking shower," Cas orders as he turns around. He can feel Dean glaring at his ass. Cas hears shuffling, a door lock clicking, and the shower curtain being pulled back. The tiny, 70's shower isn't really meant for two people so Dean is nearly touching Cas. Their elbows and limbs hit one another as they maneuver and clean themselves. Like a strange dance they yearn for touch but don't want to push the boundary further than they have.

Cas isn't good at talking. He's better at sex, and naturally that's what he tends to. It's comforting and pleasurable for both people. He comes up with a plan to get Dean wrapped around his finger.

"Can you wash my back? I can't reach it from here," Cas asks slyly.

Dean nods his head while he blushes and grabs the body gel. Cas listens to the stream of water, Dean's uneven breathing and the sponge being covered in soap. The calloused hands rub his skin delicately, mapping the latissimus dorsi that indents Cas' back. Dean tracks it down to Cas upper ass, barely touching his cleft but still brushing it. Cas moans and whines when Dean returns to his shoulders and middle back. Dean cleans him and then turns Cas over. They look into each others eyes. Green and blue getting lost in one another.

Cas leans forward and kisses Dean. They start chastely, but Cas wants this. He's never wanted to be with someone as much as he wants to with Dean. _I need Dean,_ Cas realizes.

They kiss and touch one another until the water gets cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'm a bad person:/ and I've been busy with finals which isn't an excuse but I've also been stuck on where to take this story. Should I make John try and get Sam back? Should Ben and Dean fight? Idk


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is better and worse.
> 
> Warning: minor character death, some sexual innuendos

Dean looks down between his arms. Cas' head is resting on his chest, his cheekbones rubbing Dean's muscle and moving with each breathe. Their hair is wet still but they don't care.

Dean doesn't get a lot of the shit that happens to him. He doesn't understand why John became an asshole. Why Life keeps pissing on them. Why he needs Cas so damn bad yet he barely knows the dude, but Dean doesn't question it. He's happy to be here in bed, snuggled to a warm body. And if that warm body is Cas then Dean can't help but think things are turning better.

☾✯☽

John choked on his vomit. The police pull Dean from class and they help him file the obituary report, the legal documents that Dean doesn't understand, and give him a list of foster homes. It's not legal for Dean to stay alone, since his only 17, so he argues with the officer.

"I turn 18 in about two months, can't I just stay with relatives?"

"It's the law kid, they have to adopt you and Sam."

Dean won't argue. There isn't a point in trying to prove the police wrong. The government will always be in their favor, through murder and all. Instead, Dean nods and leaves the officer to get back in class.

Cas sees him enter physical education and walks to Dean. Immediately he knows something is up.

"What happened Dean?"

"My dad died."

Cas doesn't hesitate before hugging Dean, the whole class watching. Dean breathes in Cas' smell, and he can't help but let a few tears fall.

"Let's get the fuck out of here," Cas says as they get their backpacks and sneak out the back locker room doors. They take Dean's car to Cas' house and Cas kisses him the entire way in.

Dean lets his eyes water and tears fall as Cas kisses him and the tears. They lay on the basement couch, cuddling and letting Dean grief. When he feels ready to talk, Deans voice is low and broken.

"I'm sorry Cas."

"For what?"

"Because I was an asshole. I never should've called you that, never should have jealousy make me blind. I don't deserve you."

"Dean, it's not only your fault. Me and Ben, we aren't together anymore. I just want you."

They cuddle and kiss until Dean's tears go away.

Later that night Sam and Dean sleep together. They know they can't afford John a proper funeral, that he'll have to be cremated. They cry for their dad who died drinking away. Cry for the uncertainty of tomorrow. Most of all, they cry for themselves because their dad is dust in a dust bowl that they will spread on the Milwaukee shores.

☾✯☽

Dean's coach is understanding. The team is too, and it may be in part that Dean is the school wide receiver. Ben has an iron curtain around Dean. They ignore eachother but play nice when coach is around. Neither of them want trouble before the homecoming day

_Speaking of which, I need to ask Cas_ , Dean remembers. The football team has a stupid tradition for giving the cheerleaders a jersey. Dean and Cas aren't traditional, so Dean plans of giving him his as a way to ask.

All day at school Dean daydreams of Cas smiling when he asks. At the end of the school day, Dean picks up Sam. He's been quiet lately, but Dean understands everyone mourns differently. A month has passed since John's death (Dean still cries sometime). Yet, not even Sam can help but Smile as Dean tells him how he's gonna ask Cas to the dance.

☾✯☽

"What's up with you today? You seem anxious," Cas observes.

"I'm just happy that I'm with you," Dean explains smugly.

"Happy my ass."

"Your ass is happy with me!"

"Oh Dean."

They laugh but Dean really is scared. Him and Cas have continued their relationship. It was emotional and sexual. At the same time, it was amorphous. No official title, and Dean didn't want to overstep his limits.

"Homecoming is next week," Dean starts.

"Mhm yeah. Me and Sam are gonna see you play," Cas muses.

"Well, I was wondering. You know the dance?"

"Dean I don't have Alzheimer's."

"Jeez Cas, have some heart. Anyways, I wanted to give you something," Dean says as he gives the jersey to Cas.

Cas quirks an eyebrow before questioning, "I'm not a cheerleader."

"You don't have to be. At least not in my book."

"Is this your way of asking me to the dance?"

"I mean, yeah. Are you saying no?"

"No, I'm not Dean. But I'm a bit disheartened, I was expecting some roses and a cheeky poster that had some googled pun."

"So is that a yes?"

☾✯☽

Sam knows Cas said yes by the moaning that keeps him up all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay Ik it may seem like Dean and Sam don't care for John, but he never was a father to them. And yeah sorry if you don't like it but my mind took me to this place

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave kudos and or comments, your feedback definitely will help direct this story!


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